Holding the Door Open

I believe in you.

 Try that again….this time slowly, and pretend someone else said it to you.

 I believe in you.   How do these words make you feel? Did you smile? I would think that they would make you feel loved, confident, and like you are doing something good. It just feels good to hear those words, right?

I am guessing at this, going by what I have seen and felt. Although, I have given those words to someone and it seemed, when he received those words it was as if his whole being changed. It was like he received everything he needed to help him aim for a better life. His demeanour and expression expressed much confidence from then on. Yes, I saw good in this person, but he couldn’t see it until he heard those words. He needed encouragement to continue to do things right and pleasing. Those four simple words seemed to have tipped the balance in favour for all that is good.

As for myself, I have never received this expression (verbally), but I do see many examples directed toward me, in the fullness of it’s meaning. I am not without knowing many times over these days that my family believes in me. They have shown support in all that I set out to do. Whether it’s an adventure of trying something new on the homestead, or future dreams, adventurous ideas, or giving encourgement in my next commitment.

My point is, I know I have been truly blessed to be surrounded by family and friends who support me/believe in me, encourage me to keep stretching out, and growing talents.

“When a door opens for one, it has the potential to be open for many.” ~ Mammy Oaklee

At first they were holding the door open for me as I hesitantly walked through with a dream. And now, they have expressed complete trust in me, to the point where the door has been flung completely open for me to expand on all my heart’s desire. A thirst that I cannot imagine will ever be quenched! I am truly blessed! I too, now know how that young man feels.

You can do this!   Come on; let’s do this!   Get R’ Done!   I know you can do this!   Try, try, try again!   You are great at that!   Well done!   Keep it up!   Keep going!   Don’t stop!   Can’t wait for you to do more!   Well done!   Excellent work!   A!   A plus!   Job well done! Awesome!   Beautiful work!    Can’t wait for the next one!

There are so many compliments that in essence express the belief that someone is worthy of something. This extends deeper to an individual belief that there is a purpose in life for that person. Did you know that!? I didn’t, until it actually happened to me. Someone believed in me…encouraged me without criticism. Bit by bit, this set me to a dream once crushed. I never really grasped the full climax of a simple compliment until then.

~~~~~~

It was but a few months ago, I found myself reaching out to help someone close to me. This person was in a severe trial resulting in a decline of severe depression. A very taxing and stressful place to be in, where a false belief of unworthiness can easily creep in on one. Thus, closing the curtains on every dream one has ever had. A slump of despair that can only be turned around if someone else reaches out to that lonely one. At this point it usually takes a few people to help, but like all things it starts with one reaching out.

Today, this person is now turned around again, reaching out to others.  The calendar that once sat empty, is now marked up full with purpose, and providing a very busy life.

This got me thinking…

Could you imagine what it would be like if sincere compliments were to be paid forward. And not only once a day, but everyday, all day! I started to wonder what it would be like, if everyone around me were to start every conversation in their day with a sincere compliment to every person they spoke to that day?

 I know first hand now,  that surrounding myself with these ‘types’ of positive people can and do make my life positive, profitable, and accomplished.

 Oh, sure it’s easy to get compliments in grade school and secondary school. Teachers there know the value of compliments because they can see the effects that encouragement can have on the little ones. But how often are compliments of encouragement, to better ones self,  given out after the basic education of life is over?

 I pondered… Unless you are surrounded by a family who loves to communicate daily, or as often as weekly even, I doubt many people receive sincere compliments. And, I’m not counting the potential of eating in restaurants, or being in any place where someone is being paid tips or a commission to serve you. They might come off genuine, but really, they are just good at serving their pay checks 😉

So, I asked myself, how many sincere, true, compliments did I give out today? And my answer was…I sucked at it ( a lot). BUT, I know I can change this!  What is needed is the obvious… It starts with me! Then, it should trickle out and multiply.  After all, if a wise man becomes wise by hanging around wise men, wouldn’t this application apply to complimentary people?

A kind word; A soft-spoken answer. We’ve all heard and seen the power of such. We all know the rarity at which they are spoken. Simply by recognizing how many bad days we’ve had in our time vs. the ones that have been turned around by a kind word, or gesture. With this being so, I see in myself where I can help improve my surroundings. I can help others to be, and to reach their fullest potential. This simple act of kindness, of giving, like all acts of giving, is investing in others as well as, investing in myself. One that says all those around me, including myself have a purpose, and are worthy.

But we already know that, right? We already know the end of the story. We already know who paid the first compliment, set the example, and who wins in the end.

And so my dear friends and family, in my hearts goal to become like a little child, able giggle at the simplest, happy things, and see potential in the least. I now know what it feels like to beam like a ray of light at the slightest bit of encouragement and go from crawling to walking, I might even start running!

As an adult with the delighted crows feet exposing themselves in a smile, I set myself out the goal to compliment more, encourage more, and to lift up more of those around me. In doing so, I am in fact, surrounding myself with the most successful, full potential family and friends with a purpose.

Whoever would have thought that compliments could be such a powerful gift!

You ARE Fantastic!

(C) Mammy Oaklee

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About Mammy Oaklee

A wife, mother, grand-mother, farmer and wrinkly ol' writer, who's finally got some roots planted in 'The Heart of the BottomsUP 2/3 Acre.' A born and raised city-chick, who found many'a smiles where her heart had always longed to be, in the country. Digging in as close to the beginning of creations, and finding wonderment with a smile. I live my life as a rollar-coaster adventure, and always adding new dreams as old ones are full-filled. Of course, I write about it all!
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9 Responses to Holding the Door Open

  1. Ken & Pat says:

    Here’s holding the door open to you with a big smile and looking forward to more.

  2. Ann Van Etten says:

    Keep up the good work.

  3. Every morning… whether I feel like it or not… I start my bus run with a very cheerful “Goood Morning!! Bus 11 first stop! ” Now we have to call in on our radios so our supervisor knows we are on our way. It is now become a positive expectant thing that the other early drivers expect to hear! If I accidently miss my call they start calling me to make sure I’m alright! I get teased about my cheerful routine but I also hear the drivers say that I help start their day off right! So I know how you feel! I also close with “Bus 11 is finished, may you all have a wonderful evening! See you tomorrow!!” By this time most everyone else is through. But I know that there is a smile on someones face lingering out there still listening!

    Awesome article!! Thank you!!

    • Mammy Oaklee says:

      You are so right Jennifer! It can be as simple as that, and yet, not so simple to do. But if only more would, they would see how rewarding it is for others, as well as for themselves. 🙂

  4. You’ve touched on THE key to ultimate success in all relationships. The profound bedrock of understanding and appreciation that comes from those we care about and love. During my own run in with debilitating depression the loving support of my wife, friends and God helped me to get through. They believed in me…when I had given up on myself. The good thing is that that compelled me to want to rise to meet their expectations.
    GREAT ARTICLE!
    Thank you!

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